Meet *Carlos. Mike and I first met Carlos in August when he came out to one of our Bridge Serve events. He was fresh out of jail (like, he had literally gotten out that day) and had nowhere to go. He looked like he had really been through It. I got the feeling that he wouldn't be one to mess with, should you walk up on him in a dark alley. You could feel the anger and shame radiating off of his body and he used words that even I have never heard. By all accounts, Carlos was someone that most people would avoid or flat-out ignore, but for some reason I was drawn to him. I wasn't afraid that he had just been released from jail, I wasn't intimidated by his anger, and I certainly wasn't offended by his surprising vocabulary. I knew that kind of anger because again, Pain recognizes Pain. I knew that that anger was a means of survival. A kind of defense. A kind of "maybe they won't get to me if I get to them first" mentality. A fortress guarding something fragile and vulnerable. Carlos was scared and didn't know what to do.
Over the last few months, Carlos has become a friend. We learned his story and have a better understanding of why he is the way he is and how he got to this point in life. We understand that under that hard, tough exterior is a broken, scared, and vulnerable man. He's got a heart of gold and just needs some help polishing it up. He's one of the most kind-spirited people that we have out at The Bridge. He's usually one of the first to be there, asking how he can help set up, keeping the lines in order, and keeping a smile on everyone's face with his loud, boisterous voice. Carlos is a free spirit and marches to the beat of several different drums and is seriously so funny!
This weekend, Mike and I ran into Carlos and right away could tell that he wasn't in a good spot. His eyes were bloodshot, he was pacing back and forth, and he appeared to be extremely agitated. In speaking to him, Carlos revealed that he had been planning on doing "something bad" to someone he felt had wronged him, and was then planning to take his own life. As Mike and I began to probe him about what was going on, tears started flowing down Carlos' face. He admitted that his anger was out of control and that he didn't know how to get out of his current situation. He was so tired of living this life, that he wanted to end his own. Through his tears and embraces from us, Carlos told us that just the night before he was praying about taking his own life and had been asking God to give him a sign to not go through with it. That next morning, we saw Carlos and by no consequence, we were able to intervene. We were the sign, sent by God, that Carlos had been desperately seeking.
I don't share this story to insinuate that we saved Carlos' life. We didn't, but God did. What a beautiful but!
If you don't believe that human interaction and kindness can change someone's life, I challenge you to invest in someone, just one person. There are millions of people just like Carlos out there who feel hopeless, are misunderstood, and are in desperate need of someone who will take a chance and come alongside them. Be bold, be courageous, and be a Beautiful But to someone who needs it.
*Name has been changed to protect privacy.
