Fort Haus

This weekend began with a tour of the Sam Houston State Bearkat's football facilities. One of our good friends, (shout-out to #51!) gave us all a tour- complete with some practice equipment:

We finished off Friday with a dinner-date to Olive Garden. Phiona has a new purse that she got for helping me with some work around my office, so she had the giftcards in her purse and took us out to dinner. Here's a couple of pics from that night:

Saturday was spent running some errands, going grocery shopping, getting Phi's new Bearkat dress (to be revealed next weekend) and just some general pick-up. School started today, so we didn't want to do anything too crazy this weekend... except for a special request for some fort building.

In preparation of the first day of school, I introduce you to- Fort Haus.

And yes, all three humans, plus all three animals slept in Fort Haus Saturday night. My hips, knees, and back were extremely unhappy with me on Sunday morning.

Sunday at church we had the annual kick-off Sunday where everyone wears their favorite jersey. Against my will, we were sporting coughDallasCowboycough jerseys. So sad. We also decided to do a bit of crafting for some Christmas gifts. This is Phiona, hard at work on one of the gifts:

And, in true Best Baba Ever fashion, Mike allowed for Phiona to paint his fingernails.

She was mortified when he told her that he was keeping the polish on, and immediately made him take it off when he told her that he was going to wear his nails like that when he dropped her off for the first day of school. "No, Baba! Everyone will laugh at me. You look like a girl! You a boy!"

Since this was Phi's first day of The First Day of School with us, we let her choose her dinner. We gave her the option of having whatever she wanted, whether it be something at home, or something out of the home. Her choice? Church's Chicken. Obvi.

This morning, the excitement in our house was uncontrollable. Between the zebra print backpack, and the leopard print lunch box, I have a feeling that this will be a fierce year of school. Mrs. Allen, you'd better be prepared!

Gosh, I can't believe our baby is in first grade! And to think, it barely even took me 7 years to get my pre-baby body back! ;)

Day Dates and Graduation

How impressed are you, Reader?! Two posts in four days has got to be some sort of record over in BlogLand. As a woman true to her word, complete with Scout's Honor, I am doing my best to keep you up to date with the happenings of Team Hausinger. It's been three days since we've made the decision to go Facebook-free and while it has been weird to feel so out-of-touch, it has made me to be more intentional with the time spent with my family.

We had a super fun, super packed weekend and it was so nice to be home, and enjoying it together. Friday night, we went down to Houston as part of the Bridge Ministry from our home church. It's a ministry in which we take food, clothes, water, and the Love of Christ to the homeless population of Houston. It happens every third Friday, and this last Friday marked 9 years that this ministry has been pouring out to Houston's homeless community. Phiona and some of her friends were able to serve and let me just tell you: never have the people we are serving had such polite manners! Usually there is a bit of cursing, a bit of pushing, and a whole lot of attitude. A few people in our group joked that we should have the kids serve all the time, because of how smoothly it went and how everyone was so polite!

 

On Saturday, Mike decided to take us on a date! We went to this cute little place called 7 Acre Woods in Conroe. You pay and admission fee (uber cheap) and then they have all kinds of stuff for the family to do: Petting Zoo, train rides, pony rides, Ladder Golf, ziplines, scooters, rock wall, putt-putt golf, volleyball, a mini football field, puppet plays, and more! Here's a few pics from that day:

 

 

 

Finally, on Sunday, Phiona graduated from the kindergarten ministry at church and got to go up on stage to receive her new Bible. The pictures are a bit blurry, but she was so proud.

 

While I can't say for sure how long this Facebook break will last, I can tell you that I am loving the freed up time that I get with my family! It's only been three days, so let's not get too excited, but it feels so good to be intentional with my time.

 

Until next time!



 

 

 

 

 

 

Priorities

Welcome to the blogosphere, my friends! We I recently decided to deactivate our Facebook account and thought that we would hop on over here to keep the updates rollin'. I can't guarantee you how good I'll be at keeping y'all updated, but I promise to try my very best. Scout's honor.

For those of you wondering why on Earth we're finally doing this (I've done it twice before, but only for like, an hour), the answer(s) is/are simple. I want to get back to what's important: doing life with my family. This isn't to say that I can't live my life with my family AND have a Facebook account. But honestly, it's become quite the addiction problem. And besides, who doesn't want to spend more time with this:

Instead of doing things that invest into our future as a family, I constantly find myself checking Facebook to see who's doing what or who just got the new _____, or who's going where on what vacation. It's disgusting actually, this problem of mine. Instead of making memories, I'm checking to see how many "likes" I have for the picture I just uploaded 15 seconds ago. To be completely honest: my priorities are out of whack. Quite frankly, my family doesn't need a wife/mother who is more preoccupied than she already is. They need an attentive, focused, hands-on, contributing member to the family. Too much of a good thing, is a bad thing. And sorry, Facebook, but I'm quitting you.

Like I've said: I need to get my priorities in order and if this isn't my order, it's not good enough and something has got to change:

1. God
2. Husband
3. Family
4. Ministry

Confession time: Did you know that I spend more hours on Facebook than I do at church, bible study, reading my Bible, and personal time spent with our Lord combined? Yikes, sister. No wonder things seem to have a higher degree of suck to them lately. My husband actually told me that he thought I was falling away from God/church. How's that for a loving slap-to-the-face?

And speaking of the best husband and father to our child that I could have ever hoped for:

Who wants to miss out on times like this?! These memories are precious and once the opportunity is gone, there is no getting it back. Lord, I pray that I may seize every opportunity You give me to make the most out of every situation. I know that you aren't supposed to pray for patience, because let's be honest, nobody wants to be tested. However, I pray that I could be half as patient with my husband and daughter as he is with me. I'm not the easiest person to be around and have probably been a total buzz kill lately but you know what? My husband still loves me unconditionally, tells me I'm beautiful when I have snot running down my face and mascara smeared half-way across my forehead, <--- don't ask how it got there, I really don't know, and am just plain mean-spirited. THAT, y'all, is a God-fearing man who has been sent by a merciful, loving Father, to shepherd my heart and to teach me how to be better. My husband makes me want to do better, to be better. Not just for him, but for our family.

Ahh, yes. My family. I mean, not to be vain, but how cute are we?! I wonder how many moments I've let escape us, how many conversations I've killed, and how much nurturing and love I've let slip by because I've had my head down, totally tuned out to the world around me, checking up on the latest status updates. My husband didn't marry me so that he could be a single parent until I've returned from scrolling through the endless amounts of status updates. My daughter doesn't want a mom who doesn't listen to her day-time stories of triumph and tribulations on the playground because I'm too busy getting involved in the latest drama on Facebook that doesn't even concern me. My family needs me and I need to give them that. We need to be a cohesive unit, doing life together. We need to teach our daughter the values of life, the excitement and beauty surrounding her, and how to love and love well.

This is her, serving food to the homeless community in downtown Houston.

 

How could I not nurture her desire to help others who are in need? You can't teach that kind of compassion and for her, it comes as natural as you can get. You want to know what is so cool about her love of helping others that almost brings this momma to her knees? She gets it. She knows what it's like not to have a roof over her head, just the clothes on her back, and wondering where her next meal is coming from. She understands how much it means to have a helping hand, a welcoming smile, and a warm meal in her belly. She can identify with the very same people that she's ministering to. That's incredibly valuable and I just wonder: how many of us can love with such compassion and vulnerability? She's a blessing for sure, that one.

 

And as much as I love to see the postings on Facebook, I'm challenging myself. To be a better follower of Christ, a more loving wife, a more attentive mother, and to love those that need it the most, just like my daughter has taught me to do.

 



 

The "other" side of adoption.

I can remember back to November 10th, 2012... sitting in my car in the parking lot at work and bawling like Michael Jackson had just died I had just lost a family member. I was on the phone with my husband and I'll never forget his words, "We did it. We have our court date." Silence. "Are you there? Are you breathing?" Sobbing. "Please tell me you're breathing." It was the single most happiest/scariest/relieving/stress-inducing day of my life. All of the hard work, anticipation, and prayers that had gone into making this dream of bringing our daughter home were suddenly very much a reality. We had less than 48 hours to pack up our life, get our business in order, and get to the airport to catch our plane to finally be united with our daughter. If I'm being completely honest, I don't remember much of those 48 hours or even the 27-hours trip to Uganda. It was all so completely surreal and not to mention the fact that we had probably gotten 4 hours of sleep in the past 2 days- I'm sure we looked all kinds of crazy.

Fast forward to Sunday night (Ugandan time). I actually had to use Mike's inhaler so that I could breath! The weight of knowing that we were about to see our daughter was almost too much for me to handle. Would she remember us? Would she be scared? Would she run up to us with outstretched arms just like she had so many times in my dreams? Aside from my wedding day and landing back in America with her, that was one of my most joy-filled moments. It didn't happen like it did in my dreams. It was better. Out of the crowd of people waiting to see their loved ones, came our sweet daughter. In a black and red dress and even more beautiful than I remembered, she greeted us with hugs and her timid demeanor. Finally, we were together. Eighteen months of heartache and wondering and hoping and dreaming. We were finally Team Hausinger.

This was our first family photo in Uganda. Four days after we got the email of our court date.

 

Allow me to let you in on a little something, a confession if you will. For those of you not yet in the adoption-world this may come as a bit of a shocker newsflash.

 

Adoption is hard. Downright ugly at times. So ugly that you put yourself in a mommy time-out and have a good cry in your closet think, "What the heck am I even doing?!" This is the rarely-spoken-about-side-of-adoption that frankly, people just don't share. Why, you may ask? That's a good question and when I figure it out I'll be rich and famous. All too often, people sugar-coat or just don't talk about all sides of adoption. What you see on Facebook or Instagram is the information that people have chosen to let you see. The cute pictures at the beach for the first time (guilty), the first trip to the ice cream shop (guilty), the hilarious dance videos where everyone is laughing and having a good time (guilty). Not that any of this is wrong, but for those of you on the fence about adopting and not yet ready to take the plunge, it makes our life look like fairy dust and sprinkles. Easy. Fun. Happy.

 

What you don't see, is that 15 minutes after the ice cream shop picture was taken, there is a scared little girl/boy huddled in the corner in her/his bedroom, afraid, but unwilling to communicate why. What you don't hear about, is that after you've just gotten done disciplining your child for (fill in the blank), they are truly terrified that you are sending them back to the country they came from because you don't love them anymore because they just got in trouble. What you don't hear about is the stories of abuse/neglect that your child suffered at the hands of the very same person who was supposed to be their caregiver. Fire drills at school? Total meltdown. Being told that they can't have soda for breakfast? Complete chaos. Needing to go to sleep with every single light on in the house because they are scared because of some fear that darkness brings about from their time spent in the orphanage? Heartbreaking.

 

Add these fears and insecurites on top of having normal, six-year-old behavior, and you've got yourself quite the doozy learning curve. Not only is our daughter behaving like every other child we've ever been around, and not only are we Insta-Parents, but this mess is just plain hard. So when you ask me questions like, "Oh my goodness, she is just SO precious! How is she?" and, "How are you doing, you know, with being a 'mom'?" and "Gosh, she is just SO well behaved. I'll bet you don't ever have any problems with her!" and I respond to you through tear filled eyes, a clenched jaw and a trembling chin that yes, everything is "good", that's about as best an answer as I can muster up. You see, people don't really want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. If they did, and you were actually honest about it then that would mean that they are obligated to lend a hand, an ear, or even a shoulder to cry on.

 

But let me tell you something else. As hard as this is for us, the parents, can you even begin to imagine what's going through the head of our daughter? Adoption is hard. But so is being a six year old little girl, taken away from everything you've ever known and loved. Some things are unfair. But so is trying to process the fact that your first mother left your life, and now you have a new mother who doesn't even look like you. Our daughter's story is hers to tell, or not. But it's a story that has more pain and heartbreak in the first six years of life than many of us will ever experience in a lifetime. It's not fair, it's not right, it's ugly, and it's painful.

 

 But through the mud and the yuck, there are also glimmers of hope. Rays of healing. Joy. LOVE. HAPPINESS. HEALING. SAFETY, SECURITY. And maybe a little bit of healthy craziness.

 

                                        Naturally, braid removal is one of our favorite past-times. (snort. sarcasm)

                                                        Team Hausinger "officially" est. November 23, 2012

                                                                               Pure, unconditional joy.

 



Living Sacrifice

I'm back! As many of you know, during our adoption process, I was asked to take down my blog. Not because of anything that I had said, but because navigating the Adoption Waters is very tough (HUGE understatement!) and the less information floating around out there the better. We can talk more about that in another post but for now, the important part is that we're home... WITH our beautiful daughter! Can I get an AMEN!?

After a 16 month waiting process, and 2.5 months spent in Uganda, it's safe to say that we learned a lot. Not only about adoption but about ourselves as well. Some of our hardest, ugliest, most brutal days were spent in Uganda and yet, we continued to see God's beautiful plan unfold before our eyes. Let me tell you something y'all: when you are down and out, but can recognize the fact that God has you EXACTLY where He wants you to be, you sit down, buckle up, and hold on for dear life. Some of the greatest lessons were learned when we were at our lowest point, holding on for dear life, trusting that God would reveal what the heck was supposed to happen next.

About three weeks before we came home to America, a team from our home church arrived in Uganda for a mission trip. It was so good and so refreshing to see some familiar faces and be able to have dinner time conversations with new and old friends. The team was there for ten days and on one of the last days, a devotional was given about living sacrifices. It was about how dead sacrifices (a slaughtered goat or lamb) were good, but what God wanted to see were the living sacrifices. People sacrificing themselves for the Kingdom of Heaven. I looked over to Mike, who was crying uncontrollably. I had no idea what was wrong with him, so after the devotional was over, we went somewhere private to talk things through. He told me, "THIS is why we've been made to stay here so much longer. This is what it's all about. Think about all of the people who have made sacrifices for our adoption." And you know what? He is so right...

First up is Maama Scovia, the woman who had raised our daughter until we were gifted with that responsibility. One day, about seven years ago, she was at the hospital with a friend, when she overheard a conversation from a woman who was there to abort her baby. Her name was Sarah, and she and the father of the baby, Khadambi, were very poor and had no means to care for a child. They felt that abortion was their only answer, and Sarah had come to the hospital that day to follow through. When Maama Scovia heard Sarah's intentions, she approached the woman and told her, "I believe that abortion is wrong. If you have that child, bring it to me and I will raise it." They exchanged information, prayed, and each woman went their own way. Keep in mind that Scovia has no steady monthly income, four biological children of her own, and is the caretaker of a handful of other children she has rescued from unspeakable circumstances. Maama Scovia has told us that she wasn't entirely serious about the offer, but felt that God was telling her to speak up. She also said that she didn't know if she would ever see Sarah again. But she did. Eighteen months later, Sarah showed up on Maama Scovia's front doorstep with a baby, OUR baby, and said, "Here is your daughter." That was it. Sarah was never seen from again.

What an incredibly selfless act! I thank God everyday that Maama Scovia spoke up to Sarah and was bold enough to stand up for what she believed in her heart was right. You never know, but our daughter may not be here today had Maama Scovia not been at the hospital and intervened with Sarah. I wonder, though, how many of us would do the same thing? How many of us would say, "You know what? I don't have the financial means to care for another child, but I don't believe in what you're doing so give your baby to me and I'll raise it." That's a tough spot to be in and we will be forever grateful for the boldness and faith that Maama Scovia has shown.

Next is Peter, Maama Scovia's husband. Peter works for Servants of the King, as a church planter. He gets paid about $200/church plant. There was a period of about one month that Peter was with us, driving us the four hours back and forth from Kampala for appointments and paperwork. On one occasion, our first Embassy appointment, when we learned that we would not be coming home yet, we were incredibly discouraged and just flat worn out. By this point, we had already lived in Uganda for a month, already established an incredible bond with our daughter, and the very thought of not being able to bring her home was too much to bear. I'll never forget what Peter said. He said, "I started this with you and I'm going to finish this with you." For a man to put his mission and his source of income on hold, to help us bring our daughter home... that's sacrifice. And he stayed true to his word- helping get paperwork, continuous trips to Kampala, up all hours of the night... for us.

Next to make a sacrifice for us was Mike's work. He had only been with his company for 8 months before we got the call to go to Uganda. He was very upfront with them and told his bosses that we weren't for sure how long we'd be gone, and that he understood whatever plan they decided would be best. His boss told him to not worry about the time spent away, that he would still have a job when he returned. Not only did he still have a job, but his work would not allow him to use any vacation time (they said he would need a family vacation when we returned), continued to pay him in full, AND gave him a raise! What company have you ever heard of that did THAT?! By his company making that sacrifice of time off and money, we were able to remain in Africa as a family and we were able to get off that plane in America as a family. I will be forever grateful to his company for everything they've done. Oh! And they bought our daughter her first bicycle. :)

Rounding off the list is everyone who was part of this adoption journey. Anyone who prayed for us, bought our crazy fundraisers, listened to us while we talked about how sucky the process was and how we just wanted our daughter in our arms, comforted me on the days when I thought I couldn't continue down this road anymore, and most importantly- loved us even when we weren't fun to be around and were a total buzz kill... Thank you! Your prayers were coveted and you played a tremendous part in helping get us through. From an adoptive momma's standpoint, I can't tell you how comforting it is to hear someone give you permission to feel the way you're feeling and to still love you through it with no judgment attached.

I leave you with this: what kind of living sacrifice are you willing to make for other people and/or the Kingdom of Heaven? If you knew that you could not fail, what would you be willing to do for God? I'd love to hear your responses, and you never know what an encouraging word could do for someone else! Please share!